on the most bittersweet sunday morning
by greyrooms
Summary: "Can't he just share? I'm not his girlfriend, and I know I won't be enough for him on my own. But at least I'm something. I'm tired of being nothing. I wish that we could be something- I need him so much closer." drabble about being in love with Beck...


**Title:** On the most bittersweet sunday morning

**Summmary:** "Can't he just share? I'm not his girlfriend, and I know I won't be enough for him on my own. I'm too broken to be enough for anybody. But at least I'm something. I'm tired of being nothing. I wish that we could be something. I need him so much closer." short drabble about being in love with Beck…

**A/N:** I actually wrote this to post on my tumblr (PM me if you have one, I'd love to follow you!) All of this happened in real life, actually. My stupid stupid stupid real life. Unrequited love sucks, you guys.

So, yeah, I didn't have Victorious in mind when I wrote this. But replace some of the pronouns with Beck's name remove the tattoos from his chest and woooooo Victorious fic!

But anyway, there's something you'll notice interesting about how I've posted it on here, and I actually really like doing this with writing- **I left the point of view** _**nameless. **_**You can basically put anyone who's not Jade into the narrator's place- Tori, Cat, Trina, even yourself if you want to.** _(Why, yes, don't mind if I do.)_

But I really do hope you like this.

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><p>"Share?" I said in a childish voice to him when I saw him stir in the morning. Beck silently obliged, turning away so I could tug on some of his comforter.<p>

But it wasn't just a bit of his blankets that I wanted, or even a spot in his bed when Jade was gone. I just wanted him, and I would be willing to share if he was.

I found it strange, just how badly we had desired each other for the past two years, without a touch of affection until that night.

As we fell asleep, I wanted to turn around and face him, anything to be closer to him, but I feared seeing the guilt in Beck's eyes. In the eyes that I've seen many times, but Jade has looked behind, explored.

I finally gathered the courage, our bodies only inches apart, and place my hands on his bare chest.

"This… me being here… it's nothing, right?" I hinted, although aware of the answer that was coming my way.

"Right. Nothing." he repeated.

"Nothing." I breathed, to myself more than him. So that's what I was.

And because I was nothing, he didn't feel the friction of his cheek scratching my cheek, felt nothing as I kissed him. He didn't feel the skin of my back as he softly ran his calloused fingers across it. He didn't feel anything, because it was nothing.

And I woke up on the most bittersweet Sunday morning, feeling the presence of Beck's hand only an inch from mine. I thought how easy it would be to simply shift the slightest bit, so my hand was in his, blame it on being asleep or still drunk from the night before. But no, I pulled my hand close to my body and pushed the thought out of my mind, because I lacked the courage and he had a girlfriend.

"We're way too close." he said the next day as we laid together watching TV. I mumbled a "sorry" and scrambled to the very edge, embarrassed. Maybe he should've said that last night when I crawled into his bed. Or maybe I should've said that the moment I realized I had the slightest bit of feelings for him.

Can't he just share? I'm not his girlfriend, and I know I won't be enough for him on my own. I'm too broken to be enough for anybody. But at least I'm something. I'm tired of being nothing. I wish that we could be something. I need him so much closer.

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><p>Life lesson for you guys- if you have feelings for someone and they have the same feelings for you, don't run from them. Try and make it work. And if it doesn't, something beautiful will still come out of it. I got drunk and did absolutely nothing with the nicest boy I've ever met because I missed my chance. And the next morning I woke up alone, while he woke up with her.<p>

Sorry for the strangely personal notes. This isn't Victorious related anymore. Please review! 3

**Do you like the structure of this, the whole namelessness? Who did you imagine telling this story? What part of the chicken do the nuggets come from? I wanna know!**


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